OF BIRDS AND LIARS.

 

A bird told me you are feeling very tired lately. Tired of a lot of things the most recent being that old phrase I just used. It's philosophical and much deeper than the the boy from high school xaxaing in your inbox made it seem, hear me out. You remember our golden King Midas? King Midas, together with the Muses, was asked by Apollo ( the Greek god of light and music ) to judge a music competition between himself and a Phrygian shepherd called Marsyas. Apollo played the lyre while Marsyas played the flute and both were so good at it that the judges were unable to decide who had given the best performance. Apollo then challenged Marsays to play his instrument upside down which he was unable to do and so Apollo the god was announced winner by the Muses. Midas however contested the fairness of the test but the Muses were against him nine to one. Apollo was raged at the mortals for daring to challenge a god and so Marsays was killed. As for Midas, Apollo called him an ass and touched his ears which immediately sprouted up, long and hairy like an ass's.

Midas covered them up in a cap and asked the Muses not to tell anyone about it. Unfortunately Midas's had to go visit his barber and having seen the ears, the barber was promised a quick exit from the face of the earth if he dared to tell any living creature. You know the stereotype about hair salons being gossip hubs? I think barbershops are our silent winners for the prize. The poor guy was bursting with the secret so he decided to dig a hole in the bank of the pactolus river. He looked carefully around to make sure nobody was listening. He then whispered into the hole " King Midas has ass ears" and filled up the hole at once to burry the secret and walked away relieved. Long story short , a reed sprouted from the hole, whispered to the other reeds and news got to the birds that King Midas had ass ears. The birds told a man named Melampus who could understand their language. That was the sad story of how King Midas committed suicide but not before killing his barber.

We will come to my reason for feeling tired, but can you believe it! I always knew birds were pretentious, covering up something with all the unnecessary pomp, colour ,not to mention the attention seeking with the early morning chirping. Threats to the mental health of a whole King! This also just a polite reminder that you have no business telling me that a bird told you something unless your name is Melampus. 

I am not Melampus either and until you tell me about your fatigue, let me bore you with mine. There's a puddle of sewage on the road I have to use daily and no action is being taken against the 'powerful' man who drains his sewage to our roads or to fix the road so no sewage will randomly accumulate in the middle of the road. I am tired of hearing the same empty promises after every five years of fixing what ought to have been fixed in the last five.

Politicians seem to be ridiculously good at one thing alone, overpromising and somehow they forget to deliver. I look at politics around the world and my sadist side is glad I am not the only gullible one who somehow gets tricked into believing the bizarre campaign promises we get. Former US House of Representatives speaker Newt Gingrich, while running in the 2012 US presidential polls promised a permanent American colony on the moon by 2020. According to Newt, the moon would be bustling with commercial activities in the years to come. Americans didn't seem curious enough to go to the moon and that's too bad for them. 2020 was not the best down here, I would have given everything to be in the moon hawking Ham Salad sandwiches or whatever Neil Armstrong ate on the moon.

In Zimbabwe. Zanu PF in its manifesto in 2018 promised to build 1.5M houses in their 5 year term. When broken down, this would amount to around 822 houses per day and that is very well a dream I wish was possible. This list is endless and I know the best is yet to come. In a few months we are going to watch yet another circus because we really are all just a bunch of clowns in the end.

Chin up fellow clown!!! Don't be too hard on yourself. Look at the other side of the story. From my well thought analysis, I have concluded that it's always one of two things. First, these leaders tek us fi eeediat!!( Insert Jamaican Patwah) or they are actually just sick. I am not being metaphorical here, medically diagnosed sickness is what I am referring to. I recently stumbled upon the working of a brain of a pathological liar and it is not your ordinary brain. These brains have more white matter in their prefrontal cortex and less grey matter than other people. This essentially means that they have more tools to lie coupled with fewer moral restraints than normal people. The fabricated stories they practice in their heads come more naturally to them than the true ones. Basically, your politician lies so much that he actually manages to convince himself that he is speaking the truth. Don't be too hard on the poor guy, he is a victim of his own lies too.

I know it does not seem like it but this is a blog to tell you this. You cannot afford to exist outside the politics of the day, granted you are a baby girl and you are not here for vibe killers and negative energies and so the politics of the day is too much for you. The thought that you can exist separate from the politics of the day only connotes two things. Privilege and Ignorance. More often the latter. A good place to start would be to head over to your nearest center and get registered as a voter. This is especially for the new voters who were not previously registered in drives. Before you think that you vote will be insignificant, secure the right and watch them scramble for your favour in the next few months. Do not be ignorant, we do not do that around here. Better be armed even though you have no idea where to direct your ammunition. Wisdom shall find you equipped and only then shall you realize your true power.